I swear sometimes that I have been cursed....

From a very small age it was just natural for me to break the rules or be rebelious.   I don't know if it is just the mix in my blood, because both of my parents are hot headed in some way shape or form.  They are both strong stock.  When I was young I rebelled in the not so glamorous way, made plenty of rough choices, did some down right stupid things, never learned once.  Ironically now as an adult I am still rebelious, however I would like to believe that I am more of a right fighter.  I don't know maybe I was a right fighter too when I was young, I just didn't know how to fight the right way.  Anyway, it is just who I am.  But it is not always enjoyable.  Why do I always have to piss people off?  Or why is it so hard for me to fit in? The funny thing is that I don't really want to fit in... but is that bad?  Sometimes I hate having views or opinions.  I really try hard to suppress them, because when I don't I usually wind up making things difficult for myself or I cause friction.  My closest family and friends would say that that is what they love about me.  GOD BLESS THEM!  Seriously, I am one lucky lady to be loved by some really good people, because I am a pain in the  ass!  When I try to be someone that I am not though, I have even more conflict.  So sometimes it is hard to be yourself I guess.  Like right now at this very moment, Aunt Bethany is FIRED UP!  I am so irritated.  I could probably run 6 miles and do about 50 squats and some bench press! Why am I irritated? Don't want to share why!  Whatever!  I am NOT A VICTIM! And I will teach my kids that they are NEVER VICTIMS either.  See, I just do not conform well.  I am not a conformist.  I will follow my belief in God (In my mind God is Nature, the Universe, the beginning and the end... NOT A PERSON).  I love nature, therefore, I love God.  I don't know where I am going with this one.  I am just not a follower.  There are many people that I really respect and love and I have told people that if I ask you for your advice and I come back for more... I REALLY respect you.  But I just can't follow the masses to fit in.  So I consider myself a lone wolf sometimes.  I am sure that is bad too, but what the heck.... I am who I am.  I seek truth and I do totally find that in Jesus Christ.  I find truth in nature, in animal behavior, the way our planet goes round, storms, natural disasters, sunny days, rainy days.  I have to go make lunches. Good night.

This is all we get to choose from?

I absolutely cannot believe that this is what we get to choose from for the Presidential election.  This is absolutely mind blowing!  Out of the millions of good American people that are out there, we get stuck with these two whack jobs?  I mean, seriously, it is insulting!  These 2 people do not represent at all the good people I know or have known in my life time.  Americans should be pissed and disappointed.  I just cannot believe that this is what it comes to.  Could the system scream "I'm broken" any louder?  Why should any of us have to settle for this?  This is just an atrocity.  I think the hardest part to swallow is the the older generation that has set us up for this.  Wow. 

It Takes Grit

I was talking to my brother about a week ago and he mentioned that the way we raise our family takes grit.  It was a really nice compliment.  I like the word "Grit".  It's definitely not an elegant or flashy word.  When I say the word "Grit" I think of being bold, hard working, and disciplined.  Too the majority of folks I am sure that it sounds way too boring. To stay home with your children, make meals from scratch (everyday), pack lunches (everyday), clean your house yourself, drive a mini van (with a sweet dent in the back end), do the laundry, go to church every Sunday, take care of pets and poultry, get everyone to their individual events, connect with your spouse (because you love your spouse and you CANNOT do it without each other).  Sounds like not enough "me time" to most, I am sure.  But to us, this is GRIT. No, it's not easy, it's not always entertaining, some days it's down right lonely.  To give up selfish pleasures and sacrifice so that your children learn stability, manners, service, hard work, team work, morals, values, it takes a lot of GRIT.  It is all worth it to us.  I never regret staying home to care for my family.  My family is a gift to me, the greatest gift I could ever imagine.  I am more than happy to be of service to my family. I know that the  pay off in the end will be two fold.  

I find it interesting that so many people, millions of people think that our country is in trouble because of our economy or because of illegal immigration, etc.  Good Lord, and I say, GOOD LORD, our country is in trouble because there is a MAJOR BREAK DOWN IN THE FAMILY!!!!  Our culture has become about self serving desires and money.  Addiction to alcohol, drugs, pornography, whatever you pick, it is gripping everyone and choking the life out of our souls.  It's all about having a career, and a nice big house, a nice car, a perfect lawn, a perfect face book page, delusion, delusion, delusion.  It makes me sad.  What is even more sad is that families do not even know that they are under attack.  They can't see it.  There is a secular world out there and it is coming for your family!  Coming to tear you from your sons and daughters, your brothers and sisters, your spouse.  It is an evil plague that is consuming our souls every second of every day.  It is a movement that says that God is a myth, a thing of the past and that man is the most high and that man should seek what he desires at the cost of anything... even his/her own family.  I have seen it, I have been a victim of it, my parents have been victims of it, no one goes unscathed or without a bruise.  Everyone suffers when families are torn apart.  Creating loving and whole families is a key answer to making this country great again.  Families who FORGIVE each other and who do not accuse or point fingers, families who can let the  past go and move forward together because we are all a piece to God's kingdom. Families who can accept each others differences.  Families who protect each others souls.  Families who are not jealous are spiteful of each other.  This country will never turn around under any of the horrible crack pots running for President (they are pathetic on both sides), this country can only turn around if we turn back to God and seek the wisdom of scripture.  The answers are all right in the Bible because as it says in Ecclesiastes, 1:9-10; What has been, that will be; what has been done, that will be done.  Nothing is new under the sun.  Even the thing of which we say, "See, this is new!" has already existed in the ages that proceeded us.
There is absolutely no job in this world that is more important than the job of raising a loving intact family.  NO JOB will ever satisfy you more or pay your heart with more love and pride and joy than YOUR FAMILY!  There is NOTHING that money can buy that will fill you up more than the word of God and YOUR FAMILY!  Mend it, heal it, cherish it!  It is the answer to this mess of a country that we are in!

That you may nurse with delight

Oh, that you may suck fully of the milk of her comfort, That you may nurse with delight at her abundant breasts! For thus says the Lord: Lo, I will spread prosperity over her like a river, and the wealth of the nations like an overflowing torrent. As nurslings, you shall be carried in her arms, and fondled in her lap.
Isaiah, 66: 10-12

Her warm tiny hand soothingly rubs my warm skin.  Her eyes roll back in delight.  She is in her favorite place, her safest place at my breast. Not only is her thirst being quenched and her body being nourished, but her love tank is being filled as well.  Her confidence is being strengthened. The bond is being built more and more powerful.  She is in rhythm with my heartbeat as she was in the womb.  I am giving her the best of the best, I am happy to feed her physically, emotionally, spiritually.  It is the most special gift that I can give her during the first year or two of her life.  A gift that is natural and made just for her. "Blessed is the womb that carried you and the breasts at which you nursed." Luke, 11:27

Here I am....

After months of telling my family that I want to start a blog I am finally doing it.  Everything you read here will most likely be raw.  I am told very often that I say things very raw.  I am not going to apologize anymore for that.  I will always try to improve myself and try to say things softer, but I am who I am and gosh darn it, I like myself.  This is MY blog, these are my quirky thoughts, questions, day dreams, insight, etc.  This blog will serve as an outlet for me because my brain goes 200 mph 24/7.  Being in my own head is exhausting sometimes!  My arm pits are sweating as we speak because I am EXCITED, and nervous, and EXCITED!  So while you read my blog, PLEASE do your best to use the Four Agreements:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don't take anything personally (my favorite)
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best
The Four Agreements is a book by Miguel Ruiz.  It is a Toltec Wisdom book and is a practical guide to personal freedom.  I could read this book over and over and over.  While none of us do any of the agreements perfectly, it is good to repeat them to yourself through out the day and simply do your best.  With that being said, I may wright something that might seem like it doesn't meet one of the agreements, but that is also free will and hey, #2, don't take anything personally. 

Yep, I AM A CATHOLIC!  My sweet husband picked my blog address while I wasn't home and boy did he pick a loud and bold address?!  I was personally thinking of something a little more earthy or nature like, but I wasn't home and he chose for me.  Thank you dear!  I forgive you.  I am proud to be a catholic.  A good friend and seminarian was once having dinner with us and he was telling us about his conversion from being a Lutheran and  a Doctor to becoming a Catholic and leaving the world of medicine to become a Priest, because he had such a strong experience after attending a Christopher West seminar and also during the Eucharist.  But my favorite thing that he said while we were having dinner, and he said it with so much fire and enthusiasm was, "Being a Catholic is my Identity".  I was like, "WHOA, Amen brother".  He was truly inspiring.  And I could totally understand what he was saying.

Let's get this straight though, because we live in a world of massive confusion and gray areas.  I DO NOT condone any of the priests who have raped and molested children.  Those men DO NOT meet my code and I WILL NEVER protect their choices, or their wrong doings.  I am proud to see my friends and the younger generation of priests and seminarians fight against that evil and weed that sickness out of the faith.  Those men do not represent Christ, they do  not represent the true Catholic spirit and they do not represent me.  Beer anyone? 

Welcome to my blog site! 

**Christopher West is the author of "Good News about Sex and Marriage".  You can also find his lecture on DVD.  I want to thank Christopher West for inspiring me to break the cycle!  His lecture and book truly set me free!  Thank you for feeding my soul Mr. West and for telling me the truth!  You changed the coarse of my life forever.